At the beginning of the month, on December 4th, I received a call from my mother. She informed me that my grandmother had passed away.
Since then, it's been hard to find anything else blog-worthy. I've thought about addressing her death on our blog, but throughout my life, I've always been a very private mourner. Not only that, but I also didn't know what to say.
Amanda, more than anybody, can testify to how hard it's been for me to talk in depth about my grandmother's death.
Simply announcing her death would be a huge injustice to how big of a role she played in my life and how wonderful of a lady she was to everyone who knew her. But at the same time, I naturally have wanted to keep her passing away a private matter.
The problem is, it's really hard to update all of you guys on all the great things that go along with our first year together as newlyweds, without sometimes talking about events that happen outside just Amanda and myself.
MY GRANDMOTHER...
The picture above was taken this past August at Grandma's 87th b-day dinner
that Mom, Pops, Amanda and myself shared with her. She was taking off her
glasses so "she would look younger." So funny.
Many grandchildren don't have the gift of spending nearly their entire childhood near their grandparents. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.that Mom, Pops, Amanda and myself shared with her. She was taking off her
glasses so "she would look younger." So funny.
When I was young, my Granddaddy Brown passed away from cancer. After that happened, Grandma moved literally across the street from my family. Throughout my childhood, Grandma was at nearly every one of my ball games. She was around the house after school, she went to church with us, she went fishing with us... everywhere we went, Grandma was with us.
When we moved to Wake Forest, North Carolina, Grandma followed. Once again, my Grandma moved into a place within a block of our home. Grandma was always there to the extent that after a while, she started to feel more like a mom than a grandmom.
I was a lucky grandson and I know both of my brothers feel the same way.
This month has been hard. I've wanted to write about so many things, but every time I am about to long onto our website and start typing, I just felt like something was missing. For the first time since I can remember, my Grandma isn't around.
Over the last couple years it has been very wearing to watch my grandmother grow more and more limited each passing day. It was easy to see Alzheimer's toll after every time I saw her.
The hardest things to hear from her was her pleading request to be taken "home." She couldn't always tell you where "home" was, but she knew she wasn't there. It was also hard to hear her express how much she missed my grandfather. She made it known that she was ready to go "home."
While it's good to know that her body and mind is no longer paralyzed by Alzheimer's, it's difficult to imagine life without her. The only relief that I can find in her passing away, is the joy that I get knowing that she is finally home.
Home to my grandmother was where her husband was and where she wasn't in pain. The selfish side of me is sad to know that I will never have that piece of "home" that I had growing up as a child without her being around, but in my heart, I find comfort in my assurance that she is in Heaven. What Jesus offered my grandmother was a "home" where she could be reunited with her husband, a painless life.
One thing that I've learned through all this is appreciate my time with Amanda. Time is the most priceless thing that we have and often we treat time as just a measurement. It's been hard to think about how one day, my marriage with Amanda will run out of time.
Which leads me to the other thing that I've learned through my grandmother's passing. I have become much more grateful for the opportunity that Amanda and I have, through our relationship with Jesus Christ, that our time together won't be limited to our time together on Earth. Instead of dying, one of us will have an "I'll see you later" and after that, the other one will have an "I'm coming home!"
In conclusion, anybody who knows my grandma knows that she was always positive and always loved to smile. So in her honor, I'm going to end this post on a positive note. Listed below are a few things I will and will not miss about my Grandma.
Things I will miss about G'ma B:
-Her sweet tea
-Seeing her in the audience at any family events
-Her amazing cakes
-Her sweet smiles
-Her soft laugh and/or snicker
-Her loud cackle when something was hilarious
-Her hugs
-Going fishing with her
-Her positive outlook
Things I will NOT miss about G'ma B:
-Her frozen cookies (she survived the Great Depression, so needless to say, she preferred "freezing" as opposed to throwing away)
-Her cheating and trickery while playing board games (the older she get, the more she "conveniently" she forgot the rules)
We love and miss you Grandma.
